Saturday, December 4, 2010

So, I've Been Thinking

Crazy
I KNOW
Pondering life
my life
In all my spare time
But I have
non stop, it seems
I should get a hobby


Maybe it's because it's the end of the year
And you begin to reflect back over the past 12 months
and think ahead of what you would like to accomplish in the next 12

It has been a really wild year for me
I hate to use the word bad
Because I have it great compared to so many
But it has not been one of my best
Things have been really hard on my family
With a new job which required a move
So many details and feelings on all that situation
which I am not quite ready to share here

Many, many thoughts of guilt for having 3 children
Someone is always missing out 

Monster MOM is out way more than she needs to be
I have to wonder why

Even thoughts of who am I
I have no idea of my own style anymore

CRAZINESS
See...too many thoughts
I can't even get them together enough to post
So maybe I am not ready to talk about any of it




So now I am just trying to relax and focus on the Holidays
and 
The Boys
I can deal with all my crap later
RIGHT?
I heart Christmas
As a kid, of course, it's the best
You can hardly stand the anticipation of Christmas morning
Coming around the corner or down the stairs
Seeing all that the big guy has left under the tree

But as a MOM
I am even more excited
I cannot wait to see my kiddos faces



3 comments:

starnes family said...

Jann, you're doing it all right. You just think too much. Recognize yourself for the amazing wife and mother you are!

Friend, too. I'm grateful for you!

Dee Stephens said...

Hang in there girl! Call whenever you want! xoxox..thinking of you.

BrownEyedGirlsMom said...

Cous - let me know if you want to talk. You know I am always here! Sorry I had to cut our text short the other day but I was at the dr. for my back-up mamo. Love you!!